Stress on the Family

This week we talked a lot about stress and coping in the family. How does your family receive and react to a stressful event? Do they hole up and not talk to anyone? Do they reach out and ask for help? Do they break apart? Do they come together to support one another? Do they talk things out? Run things out?

There are so many ways that families deal with stress. Some ways are healthy, while others are not.
I have been married for three years to my absolute best friend in the entire world. We are so alike in many ways, and we are also very different. For instance, the way we deal with stress.

When I experience stress, I am a basket case. I have panic attacks, I over dramatize things, I cry, I hole up in bed, hug it out.

Duncan on the other hand just gets quiet, sits on the couch, and watches a show on Netflix, makes a list of what he has to do, numbers them according to priorities, and then starts doing it all.

See the difference? I stop everything, and he breathes, and then goes about tackling whatever needs to get done to solve whatever problem he is facing.

Together, we compliment each other nicely.

Last December we lost our baby after 6 months of pregnancy. It was terrible. But instead of turning away or fighting or looking elsewhere for comfort, we turned toward each other and came so incredibly close it was insane! I never thought in a million years that we would be able to face something like that, and I know that I couldn't...alone. With Duncan there with me we were able to do the seemingly impossible. It was truly a blessing. We were like a well oiled machine assessing the situation and then working together to accomplish it. We didn't get angry, we didn't blame anyone, we just came together and walked together through our Gethsemane. We looked to my parents for support (they had experienced a similar situation) and comfort and advice. But other then that, we really just took on this beast head on. I did learn that we tend to be very private in a situation of high stress. We didn't go to anyone for help other than my parents and the doctor. We didn't really talk about it at all until it was over. It helped to talk to each other and with our Heavenly Father.

I am confident that we are going to be able to face stressful situations down the road and work together effectively. And hopefully the way we do it will teach our children how to cope with stress in a good way.