Fatherhood

I think that one of the most ridiculous ideas which is common in our society is that we don't need fathers to rear and nurture children, and that mothers are much better at it. It is so sad how we have slowly taken the roles of fathers away which were divinely appointed to them by Heavenly Father, who, as a father, is very involved in his children's lives.
Fathers are extremely important. Righteous fathers are necessary for the well-being of their children. They preside in the home, protect, and provide for them (the three P's of the Priesthood). Without fathers, Daughters are lost in a world of deciding what kind of husband she should expect, and sons are without an example of what it means to be a real man of God and of the household.
One of the assignments for this week was to write a paper about Fatherhood and what it means to families as a whole. My favorite idea about how a father can best influence his children was discussed in my paper:

One of the most important influences a father has on his children is the love he shows for their mother. Elder Hammon ("Daddy are you awake?") discusses how important it is for sons to see the right way to treat the women in their lives through the examples of their fathers. By a father showing love and respect for a mother, a boy will see how precious women are on this earth and that they deserve the up most respect. Unfortunately, the world is full of examples where women are taken advantage of, abused, criticized, and neglected. If we want the world to change their view of women, the fathers must show their sons the way to do it.

It is equally important for girls to experience the influence of righteous fathers. Elaine S. Dalton’s talk “Love Their Mothers” discusses the positive influence a father has on his daughters when he shows respect and love for their mother. She said:

“How can a father raise a happy, well-adjusted daughter in today’s increasingly toxic world? The answer has been taught by the Lord’s prophets. It is a simple answer, and it is true—“The most important thing a father can do for his [daughter] is to love [her] mother.”¹ By the way you love her mother, you will teach your daughter about tenderness, loyalty, respect, compassion, and devotion. She will learn from your example what to expect from young men and what qualities to seek in a future spouse. You can show your daughter by the way you love and honor your wife that she should never settle for less. Your example will teach your daughter to value womanhood. You are showing her that she is a daughter of our Heavenly Father, who loves her.” (2)

When a father is seen showing respect and love for his wife, their daughter will settle for nothing less than being treated the way her father treats her mother. This can solve patterns of abuse in families and relationships. Most often, when a woman enters and remains in an abusive relationship, it is because that is what she was exposed to as a child. She doesn’t know what being treated like a daughter of God is like. When a righteous father provides that standard for her, she will settle for nothing less.

My father is everything I had ever wanted in a husband. Sometimes it didn’t show in the people I chose to date. But when I met my husband, I knew he was the one because he is just like my dad (sometimes it’s creepy). When we were dating, we talked about everything. We talked about how we wanted to have a family and what we wanted that family to be like. We talked about what we thought was important. I still remember some of Duncan’s answers to the questions about what role he wanted to play in his children’s lives. He wanted to have a career that never interfered with attending ballet performances or wrestling matches, birthdays, graduations, or other important life events. He wanted to be the one to bless them as babies, baptize them, give them the priesthood, be there for the Daddy-Daughter activities with young women, to go on scout camp outs, work on merit badges, give them priesthood blessings whenever they are needed, drop them off at the MTC, and see them married in the temple. I even remember him talk about what he wanted to do with his grandchildren and it kind of freaked me out because I was scared enough getting married, I hadn’t even thought about being a grandma! As a future mother, I want to support Duncan in these amazing goals to be the kind of father that Heavenly Father is for our children. I want to provide whatever support I can to make sure I don’t overstep my bounds and get in the way of him being able to do that. By showing respect and love to Duncan, he will be able to magnify his calling as a father.