Social Classes

This week was a particularly interesting week in Family Relations. The main topic of discussion was in regards to “class”. What is class? We ended up defining class as being the access one has to resources. Classes can be separated into 3 main categories; Lower class, Middle class, and Upper class. Middle class can be subdivided into Lower-Middle Class, Middle-Middle Class, and Upper-Middle Class. I thought it was interesting how on Wednesday, we were able to easily define what class our families of origin belonged to. But the only criteria that we were able to think of to define our family’s class was by our parent’s levels of income. But the more we discussed class, the more I began to realize how complicated “class” really is. It is a sort of demeaning word. It is a method of dividing communities into groups of individuals who make enough money to purchase items that make them looks as though they are in certain social circles. There was a YouTube segment we watched about how someone who has a ton of money will purchase certain products because it is deemed “high class”. Something might be completely worthless, but if it has a French name, someone in the “upper class” will buy it just so they can have the appearance of that class.

We also watched a clip called “Tammy’s Story”. It was particularly interesting. It was about a woman named Tammy who was living in a trailer with her two sons, didn’t have a working car, she walked to her full time job at Burger King which was 10 miles away, and barely able to survive. She was someone considered “lower class”. The sad part about that show was that she had the same dreams that anyone would have. She wanted to go to school and get a better job and be able to spend more time with her family. She wants her children to have more opportunities, but she just can’t seem to access the resources she needs because of her class. On the other hand, her older son hates living with a mother who is "lower class”. He thinks that she is embarrassing, and that he is of much higher status than her and his brother. He wanted to be able to have a better lifestyle for himself when he graduated from high school, and be able to get a degree to get a really good job. Tammy thought that she was stuck in her position in society and that her son needed to just accept the fact that he was too.

It was sad that Tammy was unable to have access to resources to better her life, but the fact that she was settling for the life that she had (yet wanted desperately to change) was disturbing. She figured that she would never amount to anything so she gave up. The most unfortunate part of her attitude was that she wanted her son to settle as well. He had dreams, and had more opportunities to access those dreams, perhaps, than Tammy did, but she clearly did not support him in them. The son on the other hand was very demeaning to his mother, and was almost condemning her for her lack of opportunity. He had a lot of skills it seemed; sports awards, academic achievements, etc. More skills than his mother probably did at her age, which led her life to where it was today. Both were very unsupportive of the other, which did not make their common goal seem possible, unless they worked together.

I think a lot of people in the lower classes settle in their circumstances not because they are lazy, but because they don’t know how to better their lives. They don’t know where to go or what to do to have opportunities of furthering their educations, or job opportunities. In America, we have a unique opportunity to “climb the class ladder” and are able to change their status’. But unfortunately, many don’t know how to go about it. They do the best they can, but sadly their best is often not enough.

I didn’t mean to go on and on about the limits of the lower class. But I find it really disheartening knowing that there are opportunities for those who need them, but are still inaccessible.

Week 2: The Cytoskeleton

Something that was interesting this week that I learned in class was about boundaries.

If you don't know anything about boundaries, then here are some of the basics:

Rigid Boundaries are boundaries which are solid, and not often crossed. These kinds of boundaries are characterized by a lack of relationship, where there aren't warm feelings exchanged between family members. They don't connect on a deeper level other than knowing each other's names.

Overly Permeable Boundaries are boundaries which are constantly violated by either one person to another, or between both people. I have seen these types of boundaries in my own families, and they are not healthy at all. The constant violation causes mistrust, resentment, and anger.

The Permeable Boundaries are the healthiest boundaries, where there is mutual respect on both sides of the relationship, and the rules are kept consistently. This provides trust and appreciation of those family members and makes for great relationships.

There are also Rigid boundaries, where there is little warmth or affection shown in the relationship, and there is minimal interaction. This is also an unhealthy relationship, because there isn’t and depth or mutual respect either.

It was interesting in class how the point was brought up that there needs to be roles filled in families that perhaps include one of the unhealthy relationships, in order for the family to function.

From a biology perspective, I could see the family as being a nucleus, which was held together by a cytoskeleton. This cytoskeleton gives the shell its shape, and keeps the walls from caving in. But the think about the cytoskeleton, is that it also allows flexibility in that the skeleton will change and allow for the cell to grow or fit in a particular spot. That is exactly what boundaries do. They provide a framework for the functioning of the family to keep them together, but allow for flexibility as those rules change and the family progresses with changes which occur. I have seen this in my own family, and in extended families, and such. Boundaries and rules which shift and change over time, and some that never change. Healthy and unhealthy boundaries are very apparent, but always keep the family functioning one way or another.

Week 1: Research, and Trends, and TV, OH MY!

Family Relations this week mostly involved discussing research and what defines good and bad research. We discussed how valuable it is to think critically about statistics that we read not only about the family, but also in our everyday lives. Not all studies are done with integrity. For example: some studies will claim that their idea is the best idea because 9 out of 10 professionals agree. There are some serious questions that you have to ask yourself when deciding whether or not to believe that statistic. Some things to think about are: who is conducting the study? Is it a sponsor of the particular product? Is it someone with personal interest in the results of the study? Does the study benefit them financially? Also, where are you seeing this study? We all brought some examples of "bad research" and found a lot of them on blogs, or special interest websites. There is almost no worst way of finding research statistics and believing them as gospel truth when they are found on a blog. Why? Because the person writing that blog obviously has special interest in the topic being discussed and will only post research that supports his or her idea. You want to also look at the sample size being studied to represent a certain population, as well as how that sample was chosen. In my statistics class we talk about simple random samples which are one of the more accurate ways to select a group of people to study closely to represent a population. By randomly selecting individuals to take part in a study, it eliminates the researchers bias as well as the bias of those being interviewed. A lot of times when you see and online survey, the only people who respond are those with a special interest in the topic being discussed, therefore skewing the research.

There is so much to think about when looking at research that you have to be careful not to fall prey to the popularity of the research, the pretty graphs they use, and the fancy designs so that you can truly decider if it is credible or not.

Honestly, discussing research was a bit dry, but on Friday, we were finally able to discuss topics regarding the family. Trends was an interesting discussion. Trends involving the family and different lifestyle choices that people are choosing more and more. For instance, there are increases in trends such as divorce, premarital sex, cohabitation, unwed mothers, etc. When looking at these trends I can't help but feel a bit discouraged about the way that the world is going. There aren't many values that were once upheld decades ago, which are still of importance now. Things like premarital sex did occur back in the "good old days", but it wasn't nearly as publicized or accepted as it is now. I think the media plays a huge role in that though. I'm not saying that the media is responsible for people's choices at all. But what I am saying is that I believe the media is an excellent gardener. It plants seeds in the heads of those who aren't developed enough to know what they want from life or who they want to be. These seeds are planted when we watch television shows (which almost never include a nuclear family anymore), listen to rebellious music, or watch movies where things like premarital sex represent "love".

Duncan and I have talked about these trends and what they mean to us as future parents. (He didn't like my idea of locking our kids in boxes). We talked about some ways that we could try and make our home a place where the world has no room. One of the things we have decided is not to have TV. I mean, we will have a TV, but no cable or television on it. We are focusing on buying some of our favorite TV shows and movies that we feel are appropriate in our home. This way, we can control what influence that little black box has on my family. My children are going to have enough worldly exposure by going to school, and friends, and working, that they don't need it here. I want my home to be a safe haven.